I cannot believe that I dreamt of you leaving me (again), and I cannot believe that I could feel the pain even in my dream and even after I woke up
And the truth is, you're already gone. Out of my dreams, out of my life. Entirely gone.
I've posted this many times before:
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it.
They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
I hate love."
/Rose Walker
I don't have a life anymore :'(
Later, I need to buy contact lenses and razors.
If you did not come into my life then maybe now I would be able to focus in class instead of thinking about the same damn things everyday, and maybe I would not have to live with puffy eyes in random mornings from crying the night before. Why did I not know this was how it was going to be, you have inadvertently robbed me of the happiness that you gave me, happiness that I was starting to revel in.
I hate you for hating me and I hate myself for making you hate me
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I love sleeping, eating and my imaginary tattoo.
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