Thursday, November 12, 2009

i miss him, and so much. nobody understands how much i miss him not that i need anyone to understand this, there isnt anyone that needs to know this. except him i'm being fxcking pathetic, i hate this and i hate myself. i hate how i cant get over this. i hate how useless i am. i hate how he doesnt love me anymore and i hate myself for sounding so whiny now. i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this you're the best i've ever had and i want to hang on, why must you tell me that there will be someone that will come along that will be better for me. and so what if all those someones come along, it's no use because you have taken my heart whether you like it or not and it's now branded onto you and you cant get rid of it. we're together and how do you want me to separate myself from you, how am i going to do it how is it so easy for you to just want me out of your life like this, i really dont get it. is this the point of time where i start to question how important i was to you, because if i wasnt important enough you would be able to get rid of me quickly and easily. and it seems like you are so happy now and i am supposed to be happy that you're happy and i'm even fxcking wishing for you to be happy every single day but why the fxck do i not feel as happy as i think i would be now that i've gotten what i wished for. i sound like a lovelorn fool (which i probably am) and i cant believe that right now i'm being the sort of girl that i used to scoff at just how important was i to you, why is it so easy for you to just want me out of your life entirely right now? and will you show me how you do it because it just seems so hard...