You know how small things can make a person happy? Or the smallest gestures that people do that end up meaning a lot to others. Realised that I was happy but not content. Kept asking for more and that's.. not good.
You know how when people are happy with their lives, more often than not, they take this moment of bliss for granted? They want more, to be happier if it's possible. They don't cherish. I didn't.
You know how when people lose things, they start blaming? They blame others, blame it on circumstances, blame it on everything. Sometimes they blame themselves. If we all really cherish what we already have, maybe when things are gone we wouldn't feel that sad. I guess you would still feel a sense of hurt, somehow. But at least you can tell yourself that it wasn't meant to be. It would be easier to let go.
I'm fine. Just contemplative.
Today in the range, whilst talking to Nicole:
Nicole: You last time quite lian one right?
Me: Er, okay la, not really. Not that bad.
Nicole: You smoke before right?
Me: ?!?!?!?! What??? -Shaoyan voice- Noooooooo
Nicole: Really meh? A lot of people say you smoke before leh.
Me: ?!?!?!?!
Current status: Dental appointment today = braces tugging at my teeth = pain. Still coughing. Throat feels dry.
P/S
How come I have the feeling like I'm being abandoned. Starting to feel a slight bit like a wrong piece in the puzzle, but somehow I don't really care. I don't think she was a very good friend in the first place. I always tend to have the feeling we're just together just because. I'm fine, not sad, not depressed about it. Not at all. Left out yes but the whole issue doesn't affect me much besides staying stuck on my mind, edging me. Making me slightly annoyed. I guess people are like that - they don't like, or can't be alone. I think people should stay alone sometimes, and they might be surprised at how okay or even good it feels. Or maybe I'm the only one who feels like that.
Last but not least - get well soon, Christine!! Hope I can get chicken pox too but I've already had them before.
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I love sleeping, eating and my imaginary tattoo.
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