Ugh, I still have 7 more Chinese Newspaper cut-outs to do
Today I cried in front of the counselor. I was quite mortified, it has been around... well, 2 years since I ever cried in front of anyone. As in, anyone outside of my family.
I am getting so so sick of my life. There's this saying that goes, you only live once, so live your life to the fullest. Or something like that. But that is so (disgustingly) optimistic. If you look at it from another angle (a pessimistic angle), then you can retort: since I am only going to have one life, I am going to die sooner or later anyway, then what's the point of trying so hard?
I believe in the latter.
This is a post from one of my private blogs; I posted this circa September 2007. Which was in Sec1. Actually, it's not the first time I've posted about this here. But everytime I read this post it makes me feel sad. It's hard to believe I used to be so depressed all the time? But when I think back it seems to me that I can somehow relate. After over a year of general sunshine and happiness... Now that segment of my life seems like a fleeting dream which I have barely any memory of anymore.
All that has taken place over the past year has eroded all signs of despondence I may used to harness, what's left is more pleasing to everyone I guess. I used to thrash about and was always remote and fell into depression whenever ____________ (fill in the blank yourself because you don't need to know), but now I don't. (I'll leave it up to you to decide for yourself what kind of person you think I am right now. I don't really care.)
On a lighter note... I have now run out of topics to blog about. Actually no, I still have things on my mind I want to write about but I think they're very much over-repeated. And those are things that shouldn't matter to me anymore. Okay, with that phrase, I guess some people should already know what/who I'm referring to.
And hi, Aizhen, do you mind giving me your new blog link? :)
I can't wait for the sequel for The Host to be out. But are they going to publish it at all???? You better publish it or I will go on a strike. So this probably means that I have to wait for the sequel to be out (even though I don't want to). :/
Good night. There's Chemistry tomorrow today.
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