INFP Questor/Healer — "I Never Find Perfection"
INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them. INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they're very sensitive and in-tune with people's feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others. Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.
-----------
Today I saw you online, and immediately I was shot with excitement, thrill, anticipation. And a little bit of fear, actually.
I was waiting, waiting. The window wasn't closed, I kept staring at your MSN name, hoping you'd talking to me soon. It has been ages since we actually talked properly. You told me you would listen. And at that moment I thought I could have counted you as a good friend of mine. I felt that you were a good listener, I felt that you're not as jejune and immature as the others. I knew that you would have listened. Well, I was wrong.
You knew that I was emo. You were one of those people in Fuhua that actually asked me not to be so emo. I thought you were sincere. It felt so real. But it was all just a fabrication.
Then suddenly, the icon turns grey. That was it, you were offline. I kept trying to tell myself maybe you were busy, or didn't see that I was online. But I just have this really strong instinct that you just didn't want to talk to me.
If you think I'm an irritant, just tell me. Because then I think we'd don't have to continue this friendship anymore. Because when I see you always with the other girls, other people, then it's how I feel and know that we're even lesser than good friends. But I tried to convince myself that we were good friends. But we're not.
You're not always online. It's hard for me to talk in real life. I don't start conversations well, and I always have to hope silently that the person I'm talking to would dismiss my awkward lines.
I thought you knew me. I thought I knew you. Turns out I don't. Now, all I feel is that, you're just trying to be spontaneous. I always see you, going around to other people's tables when we have free periods, talking to them, playing with them. But never me, you know? This doesn't feel fair, but I know I'm not entitled to anyone's attention, so much less yours, so I can't say much.
For once in my life I want to be spoilt with your attention. But whatever, I know that won't ever happen. Because you don't even know that the person I'm talking about here is you. I think very importantly of you, I bet you never knew. That's because you don't give a shit about me, now I know.
|
|
I love sleeping, eating and my imaginary tattoo.
Contact: -
This section is temporarily out of bounds.
Layout: Victoria/hokairotciv
|